Working on ridding some water, I have ankles of an elephant, and my toes look like cocktail weenies. Will also need another thoracentisis as my L side is loaded again, and my abdomen will get tapped too. I'm hoping to just get knocked out because I loathe the procedures and they freak me out.
My anxiety is building over everything so I'm working on that as well. I HATE being sick, I HATE being Helpless.
Was able to see my babies last night for just a bit. 5 nights/6 days is the longest I've ever gone I believe. I just wanted to touch them and sniff 'em, and squeeze 'em. Will have another opportunity today as well. Going to cruise outside with them hopefully.
A lot of time spent thinking here. I miss everything. My family, my friends, I miss ability, and agility. Cancer is a horror that just does not stop at just being cancer. Retraining my stomach will most likely be a life long endeavor that will be very difficult and intrude on all aspects of life.
Looking forward to many steps forward with no looking back.
Hug those you love, hug those you like. Do not be afraid to say you are sorry, or to reach out to someone you thought you lost.
Xo
1 comment:
Feeling helpless here, like so many who read your blog. We lift you and your family up in prayer, and wonder why we are spared such hardships. The petty annoyances of life melt away after reading your words. May you feel God's presence and comfort in this journey not of your choosing.
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