Speaking of my rock-star, cougars and against cancer ass-kicking sisters, and Grammy too!:
Many have asked about my sister, Pam, who is also fighting her own battle with cancer. She as recovered from surgery fabulously, and began chemo last week. She is back to work as of yesterday and fighting like a girl! I'm still going to buy a lottery ticket and win, so she can quit all that lawyering business and come here!
Michelle is currently here! with two of her three. Mr. 17 months and Miss 3 year old, have kept me full of smiles and giggles so far this morning. Big sister wanted to stay NC so as to not miss school, PLUS have 4 nights of sleep overs with friends, woo-hoo! She has brought health, hope and healing with her <3
Grammy is hanging in there. Busy as ever with tax season, and day by day coping with all that late has put on the plates of her children. Big Daddy is taking care of her, but some hurts the heart cannot heal. I miss her daily and wish she was here to pet my hand.
I've been busy, busy, busy and John has been right at my side! Helping me, being both Mommy AND Daddy, and prepping for RETIREMENT!
Yep, next Friday, March 22! We are also having dinner catered here by Rutland's Catering!
Kiddoes!
They DO know Mommy is sick with cancer.
They DO know the sick is where my baby parts used to be.
They DO know I am going to take special medicines.
They DO know I may get a new hairstyle.
They DO ask questions almost daily. Yes, death has been questioned.
It is okay to talk to children about cancer, and if your child knows mine, I ask that you please do. I'm not secretive, nor should you be. I'm more than happy to answer any questions that your child, or you may have.
Here is my latest update...
Met with Dr. Numnum, my gynecological. oncologist in Nashville last week. Talked chemo mixes, my recovery, my outlook, etc.
What I know:
95% of people that had what I had last year would still be cancer free, I'm in the 5% (stupid percentages)
My cancer is nasty, highly aggressive
This is not going to be an easy fight
I'm going to stop there....
Fast forward to today,
John and I met with the local medical oncologist (chemo Dr.) and staff yesterday.. I was made to feel completely like a number, and by no means a name by the entire staff, except for the Dr., but had some initial concerns there too. I left in tears, my heart was racing, I felt defeated, when I had not even been given the opportunity to run the race.
I am who I am, and with that said, I called my radiation oncologist's nurse and was able to go to the other half of the office and meet with my radiation oncologist, Dr. Murray, who treated me last year, and shared ALL of my concerns from that day. He did reiterate what Dr. Numnum, had told me, that I can have my chemo anywhere, but I need to be comfortable where I do it, and with who. How is it possible that one half of an office can make you feel as if you are in an Aveda spa with a Buddhist temple like atmosphere, and the other side part third world?
With that said, I am considering doing my chemo in Nashville. I know the drive may be a pickle, but if you could seen me yesterday, well... you'd probably offer to drive me. John felt many of the same things as I did. I think we have been spoiled throughout this 13 month journey with Dr. Numnum, Dr. Murray, and even my regular OB-GYN, Dr. Gapp.
My oncologist in Nashville is just back from a national conference, where he presented and learned. His nurse called and said that he is excited to share some things with me, so we will talk tonight.
So..... here I am!
PET scan is this Thursday
Chemo port being put in next Tuesday
Chemo tentatively scheduled to being the 25th of this month
Still not up to full speed, but getting there. Many days I feel like the fileted fish that I became during surgery, but my energy and ability to be up and about is increasing daily. Completely off pain meds, but am embracing Xanax for nerves/anxiety that has kicked in with all this.
I am so very thankful, WE are so very thankful, for all who are "with us" as we embrace and face this battle head-on. Am I scared? YES! Terrified even. Will you see it? Nope, but that is my choice. If you ask me how I am, you will probably receive a "great!" in reply, don't question it, just run with it....
I truly can feel the prayers, kind thoughts, and well-wishes, truly. The meals and cards, and my friend Sue's buckets-o-fun, have brought me more joy and strength, when I thought I had run out. I'm getting to see my dear friend Mary Anne bunches, as she drops items off, and am trying to see to joy in all things. I am a person of strong Faith, but I do question. I believe we can all attest to times of questioning our own faith. I do, however, remain faithful, humbled by God's glory each day.
Be well and big hugs,
Suzanne
1 comment:
Lifting you, your sisters and my dear friend, your mom up in prayers.
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