One Week Later.... Yep, still Cancer!

One week after hearing the word...  CANCER

It is kind of like Jack Nicholson from The Shining, "I'm baaaack!"  Well, good, great, who the devil invited you?

It seems that my new/old friend has a name.  Metastatic Endocervical Adenocarcinoma.  Sounds fancy eh?

STAGE?  Everyone keeps asking, "what stage are you?" Nosy people!  (just kidding)  I will forever and ever be Stage 1B1.  Even though I'm all funky again, I'm just considered recurrent.  For those that are disappointed?  Kiss my needing-a-pedicure heel.  I am forever a number ONE, woo hoo!  No thinking about any other numbers, now you hear?

My innards (Northern family and friends: that is Southern for insides)  were pretty well fried from radiation.  The same radiation that I so proudly graduated from last April.  In my pathology report "quotations" were used around the terms ovary and fallopian tube, as they were a bit difficult to distinguish.
My right "ovarian" area had no invasive carcinoma.  Yet, the other right sided speciment AKA golf ball, was riddled with it.  My left "ovary and fallopian tube" and left sided remnant mass AKA squished cheeseburger/softball were also involved by the cancer as well.

All this ovary talk makes one think, oh no!  Now Ovarian Cancer?  Whoa, hold those reins partner.  As I said, my tubes, eggs and ovaries... toast, fried eggs, deep fried-carnival Oreos.  The key term in my "new" diagnosis is Metastatic:  Metastasis (thanks Wikipedia!), or metastatic disease, is the spread of a cancer from one organ or part to another non-adjacent organ or part. 

Different turf, yet still considered cervical.  Oy vey.  I remember after my 1st meeting with Dr. Numnum, that I felt lucky that I was surgical   Cervical cancer is a sneaky snake, that typically when discovered, is a Stage 3-4 and a honkin' mass.  He, Dr. Numnum, said it was not something that we wanted to come back.... (remember what I said earlier about the Jack Nicholson quote?)

Now, mine was surgically removed 2/13/12, and yes, it has returned.  I was lucky to be surgical, BUT my pattern of recurrence is dffierent, and not great..... I have an aggressive cancer..so I’m special?  I WAS the Baby of the Week, Newscarrier of the Week, and I am quite aggressive when it comes to athletics, my children, chocolate fondue and knowing my technology at school, but cancer?  Not a competition I wanted to win.

So my next steps are still a bit sketchy.

I need to:
See Dr. Numnum, my Gynecological Oncologist, next week,
THEN, have a meet & greet with Dr. Gajera, my Medical Oncologist,
then have a PET Scan,
then meet again with Dr. Gajera for my "plan"
then get a port to dump some chemo junk in my trunk
then start treatments

Taking it easy has been kind of hard, but I have only broken the rules once.  I have enjoyed wearing my jammies, my yoga pants that have never been to yoga (thanks for the term Whitney!), and proudly going commando each and every day (don't hate, have you seen the 10" vertical incision?).  Not sure what commando is?  Ask a 9 year old boy.  Between that and mommy monitoring her "gas", John Michael's abs have been a hurtin' due to giggles.

I was magically transported into healing by a visit from my sister Pam, her sweet Gracie Girl (8), Georgia (4), my  BGF (best girl friend), her lab Henry and her knitted knockers / foobs / fake boobies.  Pam has recovered fabulously from her bye bye both boobies surgery and heads into the world of chemo next week.  Please, PLEASE, continue to lift her and her girls up.  Please life up our Mom, as she tries to manage 2/3 of her her girls on chemo, and our baby, teeny tiny sister, Michelle.  Breasts? Cervix?  What if?  She's the healthy one, the healer, the one carrying our heartache.  She's also the one that will be the first to take a boot and shove it.... well, you know where.  All the while dressed fabulously in Ann Taylor, with her son on her hip, daughter wrapped around her calf, older daughter two steps behind, and her husband secretly squirreling undetected in the vicinity.

I truly appreciate all the offers of help, and I / we PROMISE to ask if we need any.  John has jumped in and is handling everything swimmingly.  Our crazy carpooling, was already kind of in place before I knew I was sick.  Meals?  Sure!  Random mail? bring it!  Silent prayers from your heart? Yes!!  We are thankful for them and thankful for each of you.

So, in the meantime, here I am.  If you text me to see "how I'm doing" and I don't text you back immediately, or even that day, please do not take it personally.  I love / enjoy each of you, but, well...

Want to visit, I'm here!  Come on over!  Grab the mail and the paper on your way in!  Guest room sheets are clean, you might just have to make the bed!


Well, now that your head is spinning and you need a Xanex with a Gentleman Jack chaser, I'll sign off.

Be brave, be strong, be gentle, be soft.  Have more faith today, than you had yesterday.  Believe in the good stuff.  It is there, I promise.

Be well~
~Suzanne