PET
PET scan was ALL CLEAR! WOO HOO!!!That means no more secrets hiding out in secret places! Now.. to face the devil head on.
PORT
Up and at 'em in the morning for my port to be put in. We have to be at the surgery center by 6; very thankful that my non-morning self lives less than 3 miles away. My surgeon said the procedure takes approximately 20 minutes, so I will be home before lunch.
PLANNING
Chemotherapy plan is still in the planning. I am NOT doing my treatments here in Hopkinsville. After visiting the medical oncology office here, leaving upset, scared, angry, and horrified, I took some time, some breaths, some prayer and long discussions with my little sister that was here, and my gyn. onc., Dr. Numnum, and realized the answer was right in front of me. My treatments will be in Nashville, and I am so very much at peace with this decision. Now, to get the ball rolling. Dr. N is looking at protocol etc., but I should have a plan in place by the end of the week. A drug that was just used in clinical trials in addition to what I would "normally" receive gave patients with a naughty, naughty cancer like mine, a 30% addition to their survival rates. Avastin, in addition to the regular cocktail, is like throwing the kitchen sink at my junk. Just need insurance approval... I have a fair to good chance of it, as my 1st treatments, the surgery and radiation in 2012, failed. We shall see.
PEOPLE
Telling your husband, sisters, brother, family members, and friends that you have cancer, AGAIN, stinks...
However, telling your children, seeing their faces, questions, tears, fears, and worries, is harder than anything I have ever done. Tonight I shared my battle with the children's choir that I help with at church. The quilting group of Hopkinsville FUMC made a quilt, and had it out, so that parishioners could say a prayer, and tie a knot for me. Many of the children in the choir were at church and heard my name/saw the quilt and had questions.
Telling them was tough, to see their "big kid (2nd-5th) faces change/worry, was hard. What was harder was what occurred when we got home. At jammie time, after watching a movie, JM broke down. My big boy, my big strong, freckly, blue-eyed baby cried, and hugged, and squeezed. Then as quickly as it came, it moved on. It just took Mommy's hugs, kisses, and for him to "feel" my love, and to know I was right there.
Mary Elizabeth witnessed his emotion, and while I recognized the worry across her face, she was okay. She knew John Michael needed to hear, feel, and have Mommy.
Sigh... tough Mommy evening
My sister Michelle has come and gone. My sister Pam surprised me with a visit too! She and her girls rolled in Friday afternoon, just in time for fun in the sun and 75 degrees! We had bunches of fun, and early Saturday drove to Nashville to watch Mary Elizabeth and her team cheer in the Mardi Gras competition. The JAGS, her team, rocked it! Adding another 1st place to their resume. Because I still do not do well sitting / standing for a bit, we did not stay to watch the others as we normally do. We headed back to home and were able to catch JM wrestle at his meet, winning 2/3 of his match ups. Proud of my kiddos!
Well, chemo plan to come soon. As always, thank you for taking a moment to check in. This crazy roller coaster I'm on is manageable only because of a few things: the love of my family, the love and support of my friends, and the support and love of the Big Guy making all the plans from above.
However, telling your children, seeing their faces, questions, tears, fears, and worries, is harder than anything I have ever done. Tonight I shared my battle with the children's choir that I help with at church. The quilting group of Hopkinsville FUMC made a quilt, and had it out, so that parishioners could say a prayer, and tie a knot for me. Many of the children in the choir were at church and heard my name/saw the quilt and had questions.
Telling them was tough, to see their "big kid (2nd-5th) faces change/worry, was hard. What was harder was what occurred when we got home. At jammie time, after watching a movie, JM broke down. My big boy, my big strong, freckly, blue-eyed baby cried, and hugged, and squeezed. Then as quickly as it came, it moved on. It just took Mommy's hugs, kisses, and for him to "feel" my love, and to know I was right there.
Mary Elizabeth witnessed his emotion, and while I recognized the worry across her face, she was okay. She knew John Michael needed to hear, feel, and have Mommy.
Sigh... tough Mommy evening
My sister Michelle has come and gone. My sister Pam surprised me with a visit too! She and her girls rolled in Friday afternoon, just in time for fun in the sun and 75 degrees! We had bunches of fun, and early Saturday drove to Nashville to watch Mary Elizabeth and her team cheer in the Mardi Gras competition. The JAGS, her team, rocked it! Adding another 1st place to their resume. Because I still do not do well sitting / standing for a bit, we did not stay to watch the others as we normally do. We headed back to home and were able to catch JM wrestle at his meet, winning 2/3 of his match ups. Proud of my kiddos!
Well, chemo plan to come soon. As always, thank you for taking a moment to check in. This crazy roller coaster I'm on is manageable only because of a few things: the love of my family, the love and support of my friends, and the support and love of the Big Guy making all the plans from above.
Be well, Be strong, Be bad-ass everyday :)
1 comment:
Lifting you and your family in prayer.
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