Ready for 3 day chemo! Retirement!

Ups and downs, highs and lows... that is what I've had, and what I have felt.

I'm still not 100% and that is frustrating.  I have days I think I could run a marathon and days that I wish to say in my pjs, and nap away the day.

My port placement was quick and to the point.  A 6:00am arrival had me home by 9:00 am, including a pit stop at McDonald's for an egg McMuffin and parfait (healing powers!)  I felt zippy and energized, then poof!  crashed like a demolition derby car.  Just another layer in the ouch!, makes me tired, wears me out, makes me hurt categories.

I've recovered from it, with just a hint of tenderness at the two incision points, and am slowly adjusting to having the large butterscotch disc under my skin.  I cover it when people hug me, as they unknowingly bump it, and am adjusting to certain required changes in things I do and how I do them.  I've bumped it fairly hard a few times, oy vey!  My children are so learning some new words! *^&(!!

CHEMO

John and I went to chemo class today.  What an educating experience.  I feel confident and comfortable with my plan and the people involved.  I'm ready.

Chemo will begin next Tuesday, April 2.  Because nothing about this has been "normal," I get to be unique once again.  My infusions will be spread across three days.  Yep.  I get chemo on Tuesday, Wednesday, AND Thursday.  Lucky me :)  My Day 1 will be 5-6 hours, days 2-3 will be 4-5.  I will receive the three day treatments every 21 days, 5-6 treatments depending on toxicity and progression.

We are fortunate that the American Cancer Society has a Hope Lodge right down the street.  It will allow me to stay, for free, while I do my treatments.  John, nor anyone else, are allowed to come into the room where patients are receiving treatments.  With that knowledge, and the fact that I'll be there for three days... well... I'm thinking I may just stay there.

Avastin has been approved, so I will be receving a cocktail of Cispatin, Topotecan, and Avastin.  The Avastin was just recently approved by the National Gynecologic Oncology Group for treatment of recurrent cervical cancer, with patients in the clinical trials having an added 30% increase in life expectancy.

The only pickle to all this?  My cocktail is a tough cookie.  They strongly recommend that I stay home for my first cycle.  Yep.  Home.  More.  While I enjoy being home to a point, I totally miss my job, my friends and my kiddoes!  Combine that with not having any more leave, and well... I'm not at a high point in my joy.
I want health, I want life, I want happiness.  If that means staying home, living frugally, any changes that need to be made, I'm in 197%.

FAMILY

My sister is doing well.  She just completed her 2nd treatment and while tired, is still her joyous, loving, amazing self.  Such a gift my sisters are.  If only I could grab their homes and pull us all a bit closer.

This past Friday was a great day of celebration.  Family and friends gathered to honor and celebrate John's 24 years of service to our great country.  He was honored during his ceremony, being recognized for all things secret squirrel like.  My emotions were bittersweet: thrilled to have him home, but saddened to see him bid adieu to all he has known and greatly loved for so long.

John's 20 year old son Adam, was able to visit / attend the retirement with us.  It has been too long since we have seen Adam, and simply, it was truly the icing on the cake/cherry on the sundae.  To say the children love him is too simple.  He is their idol, their dream, the greatest brother in the world.  While I am fairly sure his shoulders are sore, I know that he would have carried Mary Elizabeth to the moon and back.  Time flew too quickly, and the plane took him back to CT.  We are NOT going to wait too long to see him again.

Johns Aunt, sisters, and cousin were able to join as well.  Hard to believe it had been nearly 5 years since our last visit.  The kids had a ball spending time with them all.

The children had a big time playing on the Blackhawks, getting dirty :o), and being recognized for their sacrifices as well.  It is not easy being an Army kiddo, especially one in our house.  Our children are professional sayers of "hellos" and "bye byes" to their daddy.  We/ THEY look forward to occupying his days with all they encompass.

    

Thank you to each of you who have joined me in this journey of love, healing, faith, and support.  While in the midst of my moments of selfish sadness, I find comfort in your words, comments, cards, and love.  I feel the prayers, karma and support.  Sometimes I feel they are all I have to get me through a moment.  

Be blessed, be thankful, be well~

xo

Suzanne