Soda Machine or Abdominal Spigot?

Ever felt like a soda dispenser at an eatery or had an intense desire to have a spigot installed in your abdomen?  Strange to imagine, even more strange to  actually wish for!

Had more fluid drained today. 1.4L. I'm so going to start my own homebrew company someday. 

Good news? I had it drained! Bad news, this may happen again (insert language of truck driver). 

If it keeps up, I might get my own tube to drain at home! Barf-o-Rama. I keep the mantra of "better than a poop bag" on repeat in a tucked away section of my mind. 

Meet & Greet Thursday morning with local clinical trial dr. Still looking at other places, MD Anderson, UABirmingham, Duke...., but have also learned that a lot of centers "share" their clinicals, and while a trial that is a right fit for me may not be in Nashville, they will follow protocol for me here.  Love reciprocity. 

What else do I love? Crazy sisters, brother in love, and nieces who drive 4.5 & 12 hours straight just to peek at me, fuss in my kitchen, attempt to straighten my spices, and have a GREAT need to lay hands on. Their love knows NO boundaries, their fight has NO fear, their strength is that which I lean upon daily. 

Thanks for peeking at me. Will update Thursday.  

Feeling fair, cancer bites. It doesn't mean I don't love, giggle, or embrace joy. It does mean that I screen my calls. It does mean that I screen my texts too.  I means that I cry at home, and tell others, that I'm great!" Because I am, and so are you. 

Greek Goddess?

Ascites... Sounds like the name of a Greek Goddess, right? Nope, accumulation of fluid in the peritoneal cavity. Past several weeks I've had some pains, short of breath, bloating and more.   

Why?

I spent good part of day yesterday at JSMC due to my gyn oncologist, Dr. Numnum sending me there worried I had a pulmonary embolism bc of all my issues. 

Diagnosis: metastatic ascities. Free flowing fluid in abdomen and pelvis that is cancerous. I just had a paracentisis done to draw it off. They drew a little over 1.8 Liters! Wowza. Looked like a homebrewed beer. Get to go home in a few. Hurt like a MOTHER as the lidocaine didn't set in with me very well. Wow. 

Also, I am being referred to Sarah Cannon Cancer Center for clinical trials. My CT from Wednesday shows I've not responded to chemo that began in December and it has spread a bit.  I will like at clinical trials elsewhere as well. 

This is all I know, for now. 

Thank you for allowing me to share. Power in prayer. Pray for my babies, my hunky hubby Nurse John, my sisters and brother, my mom, Jaquie. 

Be kind, be helpful, enjoy the sunshine, and be joyful in all you do!

In like a Lion....

March comes in like a lion.... and yes indeed it has!  Tomorrow will be our 3rd inclement weather day, and for my district, that is HUGE!  Came at a good time though, as my labs from this morning came back in an hour ago, and my white counts are less than half of where my oncologist would like them to be.

Busy as beavers we have been!  John Michael turned 10!  Where has time gone!  Our blue eyed baby is double digits.  We had fun celebrating his birthday at the KY State Youth Wrestling Championships.  He placed 2nd in state.  His eyes are on the top of the podium for next year.  Here are a few photos from the day.

win by pin!

championship "face off"

  

2nd place State 2003-2004 birth year, 84 lbs. 

Mary Elizabeth is enjoying the life of a 7 year old.  She was so excited to see some of her favorite ladies who are currently cast in roles of our local theater group's production of Cinderella.

   

Loving our winter weather!

cocoa break :)

planning how to assault me, again, with snowballs

sledding, even fun for the 40+ crowd!

my little penguins

Dad was not expecting this addition!

Along with the winter fun Neutropenic precautions are back in place, so home /isolation/mask wearing is my prescription until they are back up.  Will recheck Friday.  As always, there is lemonade to the lemons!  My counts are low bc the chemo nailed me. It is also nailing the cancer. (we hope!)

It nailed me Big time.  I will nto be doing the Carboplatin desensitization, as it is qute an arduous process, and even then, I would only recieve less than half of the normal dose.  As such, my Gemzar dose was tripled last Wednesday.  I was not prepared for what came next.  Thursday, I was semi functional at work, slept horribly that night, sweats, chills, tremors, nausea.  I woke to my alarm and showered for work, then ... a giant brick wall of blech! hit...  All the nasty chemo can bring, with a side of headache, chills, sweats, and extreme exhaustion.

I woke Saturday and prepared for the day bc I had committed to help score papers for my son's academic team competition.  I was never so thankful for a cool classroom at the end of the hallway.  I thoroughly enjoyed scoring the papers, reading the 4th and 5th grade writer's written words was so lovely.  One common prompt, but twelve completely different writers.  JM and his pals did well that day, with his school scooping up all the 1sts, and having a great day with their same age peers, celebrating one another's successes.  When we left, I returned to zombie status.  :)

Woke Sunday to feeling more normal, and have felt well since.  The ever present tired, and the newly added vertigo remain, but all just a drop in the bucket.

So no chemo now for a few weeks.  My CT is scheduled for 2/19.  This is to look for 1 hopeful and 2 possibilities: shrinkage of tumor sites, no change in tumor sizes, growth.

In the meantime, I'll be busy with all things I love: being a mommy to our babies, being a wife to my love, and being a good patient, working to be healthy.

Be well, be kind.  Help, love, apologize, be honest.  Make a mess, enjoy it.  Be blessed.

Thank you for tinking about me, as I think about you.