My second farewell of the week!
Be well, Be kind, Be Awesome!
Saturday, August 17, 2013
Farewell Friends!
Saying farewell to my trusty trio of anti-nausea meds. They have been a staple in my makeup drawer for months. I have been free of them for a week now and feeling chipper.... So into the keeping-just-in-case drawer they go!
Friday, August 16, 2013
Weekly lab visits are finished!
Very excited today was my last Friday visit with labs. I have visited them weekly since March ....
I went out with a bang though... I think they filled every color vial they had... And probably took some extras just in case
Thankful for their awesome receptionists and my favorite phlebotomist Mr. Ronald. He was the gentlest stick there and they always allowed me to request him :)
Happy Friday!
Sunday, August 4, 2013
What happened to MY summer?
In a blink of an eye, turn of a calendar page, summer, for me, is finished. Tomorrow is the return of the 5:30 wake up and spending my weekdays with hundreds of children who are not mine. While I LOVE my job and all that entails, my schedule does not match that of my children, my vacations, breaks, nada. I am wondering if I'm the beginning to be like the farmer in the parable of the rich fool we heard of today in church. Luke 12:13-21 Do I have my goods laid up for many years? Am I keeping my treasures for myself? By no means am I / are we rich, but my job, well, I make a pretty penny more than my local counterparts. Many days as of late I have wondered at what cost? Missing time with our children, paying others to watch them while they are on vacation....
My re occurrence of cancer has allowed me, most often times forced me, to look twice, think twice, then reevaluate, pray, and wish for the best. I remember going into surgery in February every told me it WILL be okay! How did they know? I could not necessarily believe that, how could they? Looking back, I did believe it would be okay, and I too, was wrong. Did it hurt? HELL yes it hurt. How many times have you had a doctor look you in the eyes and tell you you have cancer, again. Have you had to call your sisters and tell them? Your mother? It was so hard. I couldn't call my brother, I was too tired. I made my sister do it.
Now, I look twice, savor three times, and believe non stop. If I stop believing now, when will I ever begin again? This summer I have savored the ice cream mustaches, believed in the s'more sticky smiles, and loved the twinkling eyes over and over again. Through them, and so much more, I believe that deep down inside I have been renewed in some way. While I truly hope that it is my health that has been renewed, there are other aspects of my life that have been changed forever as well.
As I head back to school, I'm still tired. My last round of chemo, last week, was a WHOPPER. I did make it to work Thursday and Friday, but quite honestly, I have not a clue of what I did, where I went, or who I saw. In the haze of post-chemo exhaustion and anti-nausea meds, I trudged through. For those that asked "How are you?" and I answered "fine," thanks for allowing me to lie.
My last round came and went with as much fanfare as a tetanus shot. My nurses hugged me, and we all felt the sadness of farewell, but as I told them both "I hope I never see you again." I mean it. Chemo is a nasty beast that sucks the life out of a person, relationships, and families. I've done my best, but hot dog! its a bear. I'm looking forward to the day where I can no longer say I'm sick of being tired. Right now I feel like it would take the power of 5 oxen to lift my arms. I look forward to the day where I get to tuck my children in, instead of them tucking in me.
I've always heard how resilient children are... and boy, are they ever. Our children have come through these past 5-6 months pretty darn well. They have learned all about chemo, ports, platelets, illness, hair loss, exhaustion and more. They have watched their mommy go from long and full hair to short and fuzzy, seen 15 lbs. packed back on, experienced and seen emotions and moments that one would never hope for their children. At the end of the day? They still are amazingly awesome. I feel that their compassion has deepened, their emotions have strengthened, and that they are pricelessly perfect.
I so look forward to telling them that the cancer is gone. dead. extinct. I will get to do that on the 11th of September, Patriot Day. My PET scan is scheduled for September 9. I'll get my results two days later when I meet with Dr. Numnum.
So for now, that is it. I'm not sure if you will hear from me before September 11. I would like to think so, but cannot promise. I have a lot to do. Mommy-ing, wife-ing, friend-ing, Suzanne-ing.
If YOU need something to do, this is what I suggest:
Eat pancakes in honor of my sister Pam:
My re occurrence of cancer has allowed me, most often times forced me, to look twice, think twice, then reevaluate, pray, and wish for the best. I remember going into surgery in February every told me it WILL be okay! How did they know? I could not necessarily believe that, how could they? Looking back, I did believe it would be okay, and I too, was wrong. Did it hurt? HELL yes it hurt. How many times have you had a doctor look you in the eyes and tell you you have cancer, again. Have you had to call your sisters and tell them? Your mother? It was so hard. I couldn't call my brother, I was too tired. I made my sister do it.
Now, I look twice, savor three times, and believe non stop. If I stop believing now, when will I ever begin again? This summer I have savored the ice cream mustaches, believed in the s'more sticky smiles, and loved the twinkling eyes over and over again. Through them, and so much more, I believe that deep down inside I have been renewed in some way. While I truly hope that it is my health that has been renewed, there are other aspects of my life that have been changed forever as well.
As I head back to school, I'm still tired. My last round of chemo, last week, was a WHOPPER. I did make it to work Thursday and Friday, but quite honestly, I have not a clue of what I did, where I went, or who I saw. In the haze of post-chemo exhaustion and anti-nausea meds, I trudged through. For those that asked "How are you?" and I answered "fine," thanks for allowing me to lie.
My last round came and went with as much fanfare as a tetanus shot. My nurses hugged me, and we all felt the sadness of farewell, but as I told them both "I hope I never see you again." I mean it. Chemo is a nasty beast that sucks the life out of a person, relationships, and families. I've done my best, but hot dog! its a bear. I'm looking forward to the day where I can no longer say I'm sick of being tired. Right now I feel like it would take the power of 5 oxen to lift my arms. I look forward to the day where I get to tuck my children in, instead of them tucking in me.
I've always heard how resilient children are... and boy, are they ever. Our children have come through these past 5-6 months pretty darn well. They have learned all about chemo, ports, platelets, illness, hair loss, exhaustion and more. They have watched their mommy go from long and full hair to short and fuzzy, seen 15 lbs. packed back on, experienced and seen emotions and moments that one would never hope for their children. At the end of the day? They still are amazingly awesome. I feel that their compassion has deepened, their emotions have strengthened, and that they are pricelessly perfect.
I so look forward to telling them that the cancer is gone. dead. extinct. I will get to do that on the 11th of September, Patriot Day. My PET scan is scheduled for September 9. I'll get my results two days later when I meet with Dr. Numnum.
So for now, that is it. I'm not sure if you will hear from me before September 11. I would like to think so, but cannot promise. I have a lot to do. Mommy-ing, wife-ing, friend-ing, Suzanne-ing.
If YOU need something to do, this is what I suggest:
Eat pancakes in honor of my sister Pam:
"Monday August 5th is my six month anniversary of my surgery & the start of my recovery journey. My darling friend Kate Kramer suggested it is time another [flat as a] Pancake week!
For those of you who missed it last time, I am asking all those who know me, my sisters Suzanne Michener Bronson & Michelle Herlihy, and my mother Jaquie Michener Dever to eat pancakes this week in honor & support of those of us who have been flattened - literally, figuratively & emotionally - by cancer.
Only the bravest (or craziest!), actually eat pancakes all week long; but doing so even once may bring joy to your day/week, & remind you that this disease is not picky in who it chooses! Bite me cancer!"
For those of you who missed it last time, I am asking all those who know me, my sisters Suzanne Michener Bronson & Michelle Herlihy, and my mother Jaquie Michener Dever to eat pancakes this week in honor & support of those of us who have been flattened - literally, figuratively & emotionally - by cancer.
Only the bravest (or craziest!), actually eat pancakes all week long; but doing so even once may bring joy to your day/week, & remind you that this disease is not picky in who it chooses! Bite me cancer!"
Find someone who needs a smile and give them one, or two! Heck, they are free!
Go find a person that was rude to you, spoke ill of you.... and smile at them. Touch them as you speak. Your actions speak volumes. You may not be ready to welcome them back into your life, but you may cause them to think further before they negatively impact another.
Write someone a letter. A REAL letter. I received one this week from my friend J in IN. Brought me more joy than a case of Hershey's on a snow day!
Pay it forward. Somewhere, somehow, YOU can be the bright spot in someone's day. It does not require money, or materials. It requires you. Take a leap of faith and be there for someone. Like you have been for me.
Be well, be kind, be blessed, be honest, be loved.
Know that I am so very thankful for you taking the time to "be" with me for a few moments.
Know that I pray daily. For myself, for many others, for YOU.
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